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Post by conductorx on Jul 7, 2009 18:06:30 GMT -8
This guy was cruising down Highway One through the Bayous of Louisiana when a state trooper pulled him over. The trooper put on his smokey bear hat and walked over to the guys car and saw his back seat was full of knives and machetes. "Excuse me sir, why do you have all of these knives and machetes in your backseat?" "I am a machete juggler, I juggle these knives and machetes for parties and shows." "OK OK you have to get out and prove it." said the trooper. The guy gets out and picks up three machetes and starts juggling, then four, then six and finally he has eight machetes cascading through the air. he is putting on quite the show for the trooper. Just then Boudreaux drives by and sees the trooper and the juggler. He reaches under his seat and throws out a nearly full bottle of whiskey out the window. His wife asks, "Why did you do that? That bottle was nearly full." "Didn't you see the new DWI test? I could never do that sober much less drunk."  |
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Post by FRK on Jul 7, 2009 20:10:25 GMT -8
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Post by conductorx on Jul 9, 2009 11:38:14 GMT -8
State troopers have staked out a bar hoping to catch some drunk drivers. They hide out in the weeds along Highway One and watch the gravel parking lot. As the night wears on they see a few cars leave at random times but none of them stand out. Some time after midnight the party starts to break up and people are leaving in two and threes.
The troopers watching the parking lot notice a guy with a "go-cup" leaning on a car and drinking. As patrons leave they wave and make comments to him about how drunk he is. Some people even offer to drive him home but he refuses. The parking lot is nearly empty and he fumbles out his keys and searches for the keyhole only to discover the door is already unlocked. First he gets in the back seat and then figures out he is in the wrong place. Finally he gets behind the wheel and starts the engine. The dome light is on because the back door is still open. After taking a few gulps out of the "go-cup" he gets out, sets the drink on the roof and closes the back door. Then he gets back in the car and tries to start it a couple of more times.
The lot is empty by now and the bartender can be seen inside counting the till and washing glasses. The drunk puts the car in gear and proceeds out of the parking lot carefully dodging the pink elephants and unicorns that are roaming loose. As he get to the road, the troopers can't take it any more and pull out and block him from further progress. With the surprise of the blue flashing lights our hero slams on the brakes and his "go-cup" spills down the windshield the empty cup landing on his hood.
The driver puts the car in park and patiently waits. The troopers to get out grab their ticket books and adjust their Smokey Bear hats and walk up to the car with smiles. First thing the nearest Trooper throws the empty cup through the open window and says, "You are lucky that cup didn't hit the road or you would get a ticket for littering."
"Oh?", replies our hero, his speech slightly slurred. "That’s a good thing huh?"
"Yeah, yeah, get out of the car and come stand over here." orders another trooper.
They give him all of the tests; he walks a straight line, touches his nose with his finger with his eyes shut, and counts backwards from 100 perfectly. On the Breathalyzer he blows a perfect 0.0. One trooper walks back to his car and slides his finger through the liquid on the windshield. He sniffs the clear odorless liquid and asks, "What was in that cup?"
"Just plain water officer." the guy replies easily.
"Ok, ok what is the deal here? You were clearly drunk when we had you staked out. You need to tell us before we run you in."
"Ok, officer. I'll tell you. We all knew you have been staking out the bar and catching people driving while intoxicated so I am the 'Designated Decoy'.", the guy smiles at them.
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Post by toddcobodywerkes on Jul 9, 2009 12:08:59 GMT -8
This guy was cruising down Highway One through the Bayous of Louisiana when a state trooper pulled him over. The trooper put on his smokey bear hat and walked over to the guys car and saw his back seat was full of knives and machetes. "Excuse me sir, why do you have all of these knives and machetes in your backseat?" "I am a machete juggler, I juggle these knives and machetes for parties and shows." "OK OK you have to get out and prove it." said the trooper. The guy gets out and picks up three machetes and starts juggling, then four, then six and finally he has eight machetes cascading through the air. he is putting on quite the show for the trooper. Just then Boudreaux drives by and sees the trooper and the juggler. He reaches under his seat and throws out a nearly full bottle of whiskey out the window. His wife asks, "Why did you do that? That bottle was nearly full." "Didn't you see the new DWI test? I could never do that sober much less drunk." |
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