Best jokes around!

[bioxel]

Que se me hace que este compa vochocrazy va hacer nacer un nuevo estilo de vw, no cal-look, no vintage, no hoodride, es el crazy-style,
-Motor stock
-un carburador
-pinito en el retrovisor
-volante deportivo

-y muy importante "UNA LLANTA DELANTERA APUNTANDO PARA AFUERA..."

[speedwell]

Y LE FALTO LA CALCA CON SU NOMBRE EN EL VIDRIO DELANTERO ;D

ES OBLIGATORIO PARA ESTE LOOK!


SPEEDWELL

[voshocrazy]

[glow=red,2,300]JA JA JA JA... ME CAGO DE LA RISA! JA JA JA JA ;D ;D ;D[/glow]

pipipipipi pipipipipi...!!!

[voshocrazy]

pinito en el volante... llanta hacia afuera... motor stock... calca con el nombre enfrente!!! ;D ;D ;D

Posd: Disculpen pero es ke andaba un poco desorientado en cuanto al LOOk de un bolido...!!! bueno... bastante!

[The Tank]

Estavan dos gueras en el porche the la casa de una de ellas cuando una guera le pregunto a la otra "Que cres tu, Dime, que esta mas cercas, la luna o Florida?" Y la otra le contesto "Daaaaaa, pues la luna!! Apoco puedes ver Florida des de aqui!!"

[voshocrazy]

frk said:

Estavan dos gueras en el porche the la casa de una de ellas cuando una guera le pregunto a la otra "Que cres tu, Dime, que esta mas cercas, la luna o Florida?" Y la otra le contesto "Daaaaaa, pues la luna!! Apoco puedes ver Florida des de aqui!!"

noooo compa, sino entiendo el spanish menos el chino...!!!

Posd: ke alguien me exxxxxxxplike... ;D ;D ;D jijijiji

[loonyskater]

hahaha...pinche gueras...lol

[FRK]

man and a woman who have never met before find
themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to
get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on
the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and
says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold
and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me
another blanket."
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said
"I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're
married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

[toddcobodywerkes]

My neighbor is so fat, she broke her leg & gravy poured out

My other neighbor is so fat, she leaves footprints in the concrete

My friend is so fat, if he wears a GoodYear hat, he looks like the blimp

My friend is so fat, everybody excercises running around him

My friend is so fat, he shows up on radar

His teeth are so yellow.....you can butter a loaf of bread with them

[toddcobodywerkes]

The best engine ever made is a vagina. It takes any size piston, self lubricates, starts with one finger & does its own oil change every 28 days

[FRK]

Baked Beans - This is hilarious!

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it
became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the
way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I
called my husband and told him that I would be late because
I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and
the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With
miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the
diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large
orders of baked beans!
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.


Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and
exclaimed delightedly:
'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'


He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner
table. I took a seat and just as h e was about to remove my
blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to
touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the
call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and
the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my
husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity,
shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only
loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my
lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more.
The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the
other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.


The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the
telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I
quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin,
placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling
very relieved and pleased with myself.


My face must have been the picture of innocence when my
husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked
me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him
I had not.


At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner
guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy
Birthday!'


I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!

[toddcobodywerkes]

The girl fainted but the guest dropped dead!!!

[FRK]

MUSIC ROCKS THE SHIT OUT OF ......

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

[FRK]

A Damn Good Explanation




YOU HAVE TO LOVE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried.
'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your
children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can
tell you what happened.
' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive
home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down
and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She
told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas
I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're
afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she
was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so
I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you
have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which
you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you
don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you
bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at
work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued –
'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door,
she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

'Please ... Do you have
anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

[FRK]

MUSIC ROCKS THE SHIT OUT OF ......

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

;D